Remus Freakin' Lupin

REMUS:

I'm Remus Freakin' Lupin
You kids can't understand
I was James' best friend
doesn't anyone recall
Not Sirius Black!  

RON, HARRY, SNAPE & THE KIDS: [spoken] "NO?"

REMUS:

... No! It was always me,
I never had rabies!
Even though I was small,
when Greyback bit my little paw- I mean hand...

[CHORUS: Oooo...]

REMUS:

For a story knack,
this guy,
[whispered] "Greyback"
was super cruel...

HARRY:

[spoken] "Greyback?"

RON, SNAPE & THE KIDS:

[GASP!] "SHHH!!!"

CHORUS: Oooo...]

REMUS:
... Tried to kill me because my parents,
refused to help the dark lord rule...

Even though I was a tiny little boy,
I shoulda died but  my reputation was pretty much destroyed
by this evil guy and it's story that I never tell....

RON, HARRY & THE KIDS:

You're Remus Freakin' Lupin!
You're the best teacher here!

CHO
And a whole lot hotter!
Than Snape who wears that silly cape,

RON, HARRY & THE KIDS:
You also made fun of him in front of us all
If we're in trouble we know who to call!

[DANCE BREAK]

DUMBLEDORE:

You're Remus Freakin' Lupin!
I really love ya man,
You look sexy in your bow tie!

Remus you're my kinda guy--

RON, REMUS, HARRY, SNAPE & THE KIDS:

[Eeeew!]

SNAPE:

... I wanna beat you up!
Because you beat me up
with your charms!
Remember, Lupin,
you're a Creep,
and quite Mean,
and A DOG!

HARRY:
A dog?

REMUS:
Yeah, this werewolf thing is kinda weird,
I mean, that Hogwarts Jaguar we feared
was spotted, a full moon ago...

THE KIDS:

[A full moon ago we cried!]

HARRY:

... It shouldn't ever reall have to be the cause,
because it trips over it's gigantic paws
when it runs around some corners way too fast!

CHORUS:

[... Runs way too fast, that's why--]

REMUS:

It never thought it'd ever break a thing or two
but it should not ever be locked up in a zoo...
Because it's just a little bit too cute to have to cage
but maybe I'll catch him because I am just that great!

I'm Remus Freakin' LUPIN!
I'm not a werewolf, man,
And if you hear that, it isn't true!

I can't be bothered
by Hermione's awful drawing skills,
But my singing sure brings you chills
And I know singing is something I can do,
so it's time you all knew
exactly what I am...

I'm Remus Freakin' Lupin!

SNAPE, RON, HARRY & THE KIDS:

You're Remus  Freakin' Lupin!

REMUS, SNAPE, RON, HARRY & THE KIDS

I'm/You're Remus Freakin' Lupin--

REMUS:

... And I'm a Man!

THE KIDS:

[Ahhhhhh]

REMUS & THE KIDS:

[spoken] "REMUS FREAKIN' LUPIN!"

REMUS:

[Heavy Breathing and in the TA-DA pose]

RON:

Wow, I guess you can sing….